I've had more than enough of my kids the last two days. They are making me so crazy!!! They are constantly saying, "Watch this!" and they move a finger. (wow.) "Watch this!" and they pick up a blanket. (seriously.) "Mommy, Sophie said no at me!" "Mommy, I want to sleep with you tonight." "Mommy, I don't want to sleep by myself. I don't like sleeping by myself." "Mommy, Sophie said poo poo." "Mommy, Sophie got two more cookies." "Mommy, if Sophie goes to the potty can I get candy?" All the while Sophie is just yelling, "WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" or crying "HOLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!" and trying to climb on top of me. Not just in my lap. She will sit on my arms when I'm at the computer.

What do you do when your children fight and nag and whine all day, BUT you are potty training one of them and you don't want to take away the reward yet b/c you are afraid they will backtrack? But they fight over the candy. They whine over the candy. I hate candy. This is why I don't give my children candy. And yes, if you ever give/send my children candy, I give them one or two pieces and throw the rest of it away. That is how much I hate the stuff. It turns them into evil, mean, and very loud little people that I start to strongly dislike.

I think that Christopher is finally old enough to pick up on my frustrations b/c he will come and apologize to me and will even be specific about what he did that frustrated me. But it doesn't stop him from talking any less. He's really becoming quite the tattle tale.

My head hurts this afternoon. My ears hurt too.

We went to a birthday party and I was so excited about having some sort of conversation with other adults. Did it happen? No, b/c my kids were the only ones who wanted to go in the water and it wasn't next to the party area. Which I didn't really mind b/c it was there tempting them and it is kind of hot out, but I was the only mom in a swim suit and that's never fun. Nobody else even brought bathing suits for their kids. We were fully prepared with life jackets and all. I finally got them to go back up to the party to have cake and again later to watch the little boy open his presents.

I think what is making me panic is that one day Brandon will deploy and I will be by myself for months on end. Right now he's usually gone about twice a year for a week or two at a time. The good thing is, I'm definitely over feeling guilty about not wanting more children. (I used to want 5 and felt bad after having Sophie and decided that I was going to stop at 2 when everyone else was wanting more.) But like I said, that guilt has past and it doesn't bother me one bit.

I love my children. I know that I do. I'm just tired of this right now. Everyone hits this point some time and then you wake up one day and you are loving it. I'll get there. I'm just very thankful my parents are letting us come visit a day early. I'd leave right now, but we'd get there late tonight and I don't want to do that. I am really looking forward to going on a trip with my Mom and seeing my grandpa and finally seeing Brandon. Mom even offered to keep the kids one night so we can have a date night. I talked to Brandon this morning and he was going to a spy museum. I am SO going there!!!!!!!!!! I love anything and everything spy. Go ahead and laugh. But I do. Here's a story for you:

Last summer when our MOPS steering team had their meeting to plan the year we started the day by playing a game to get to know each other a little better. You picked up different pieces of candy and then they told us each piece represented something we had to tell about ourselves. Almost everyone picked up the same piece and the question that went with it was, "What is your dream job?" Of course it took me all of 5 seconds to come up with my answer and I was at the end of the groups and anxious to hear what these women I didn't know had to say. Guess what they all said.... "Well, actually I'm doing my dream job, being a mom is the best job I've ever had." And when it came around to me I said, "I've always wanted to be a spy. But only if I never married or had children b/c then I'd feel torn and I'd want to be totally focused. I'm not smart enough to be one, b/c you have to be really smart to do it, and I'm probably too small too. Has anyone ever seen Burn Notice? Yeah, I'd be Fiona." They all stared at me. I think a few people laughed. But I've actually thought about this a little more lately, now that Burn Notice is back on, and I realized, I wouldn't want any of that in real life, so what I've really dreamed about is just playing one on screen. But the hilarious part is (yeah, in case everything I've just said isn't funny enough) that I have absolutely zero desire to be on screen, on stage or in front of people ever.

Can you tell that I haven't talked to a single adult all week? I'm all over the place with this post! My best friend Tiffany just called me and I feel better. I miss her. I think I'm realizing this year is going to be harder than I thought. Well, maybe just this week. I'm not planning on everyone I know being sick, having company or being out of town all at the same time. I better go before I start digging around for some Zoloft. Talk to you again soon!!!