I'm not sure who is frustrating who more this week, me or the kids. Yesterday the kids had mothers' day out and we got home at 2:30. It was pouring outside so we were confined to the indoors. I put a movie on and it seemed to work for a while, but I was trying to finish something I'd started before I picked them up and Sophie just had to sit in my lap. She always has to sit in my lap. And I'm just short enough and she's just tall enough that I can't see anything I'm doing when she's in my lap. So I get annoyed. Why can't she snuggle up next to me? I would LOVE that! But nooooooo, she has to be right on top of me so all I can do is just be a chair. Have I ever mentioned that I have a very difficult time sitting down and not doing something else at the same time? It is extremely difficult for me.

So our afternoon just seemed to go downhill very quickly. The kids started picking at each other (while still picking at me) and before we knew it everyone in our house was either crying or yelling and I had a headache. Have your children ever made your ears ring? Mine do. Motrin wasn't helping either. I finally got a call from Brandon and could barely hear him, asked him when he'd be home and I got in the shower and stood there until it sounded like he was here. He wasn't. They were getting out the Wii Fit board b/c they wanted to play Wii.

They fought some more.

I yelled some more.

Nobody was winning.

We had dinner and then it was time to put them to bed. Actually Sophie only continued to get louder (I know, it's actually possible) and so I told her she was done for the day and Brandon took over with more love than I could have found at the time. (I adore my husband!)

I went to bed and said a prayer for a friend who is having with twins today and also for myself. I prayed that we'd both have a good day today b/c I knew we would both need it. Even if it was for different reasons. Her's was joyful and mine was out of desperation. (Can't wait to see photos Anna!!!)

Today, I was determined to have a better day, but was also a little realistic. We went to Kohl's b/c we had $20 credit to spend by tomorrow and Sophie needed new pj's. The kids were awful. I think at least twice I couldn't find Christopher and he wouldn't answer when I yelled for him. Yes, yelled. Loud. The first time was as soon as we walked in the store. If I didn't have the credit and she didn't need pj's I would have just left. We were only in there maybe 30 minutes and I hated it. I was the mom who was afraid she would end up on the news for jerking her child around and threatening to wear them out if they didn't behave.

Next we had to go to Sam's. I gave them a good talking to before going inside. They agreed to the terms. They run away or misbehave and they will be forced to sit in the cart. They were good for 5 minutes then sent to the cart. They were actually pretty good until Sophie decided to try to pull everything down that she could reach, I'd told her numerous times to stop and finally had to pop her on the arm. She was so mad at me that she screamed at the top of her lungs in anger. It was not in pain, but sheer passionate anger. We checked out and went home.

No Chick-fil-a for anyone today.

I'd left my coupon at home anyway.

I wish that I could freeze my margarita bucket I just bought and have some for lunch. But I'm not that mom. Even if sometimes I wish I was. (Really, my freezer is too full, but I would wait until Brandon was home to crack it open.) Instead, I was the mom that everyone stared at and I hated it. I can't stand to be that mom. I'd rather not be a mom then have to be that mom. Can I say that? It doesn't help that I feel dizzy today. Like I could just bump into the wall walking down the hall dizzy. Can barely see straight, want to knock myself out and lie down in bed until the earth stops moving kind of dizzy. Started yesterday and worse today. Soooooooooo not fun!!!

My kids have been fighting and picking at each other since we got home. I have things to do outside this afternoon so hopefully we can give each other a little space while I do them. Maybe trimming the bushes while dizzy isn't the best idea. I think that will have to wait until another day.